My my how life has changed…

Apr 9, 2020

6 min read

It’s been a LONG minute since I last blogged. For those that have clicked in to read my blogs my sincerest apologies. I hope you didn’t worry about my health.

I’m happy to report that I’m still cancer free. It’s been a little over eight months since I finished treatment. And I’ve had two CT scans and maybe three appointments where my blood work was done. All results have remained good. Praise the Lord on high.

As for my overall health. Well, it’s good with a lot of pain thrown in there for good measure. As we probably all know chemotherapy does a lot of damage of the body. I’ve written about how I’m not a big fan of the stuff. People may ask “how can you not be a fan when it has saved you twice?” To which I reply: It in of itself did not save me. I am a Christian and I believe that my faith combined with my will to keep on living is what has saved me. Chemo helped. No doubt. But even doctors don’t say “chemo is a cure”, for there really is no cure for cancer. I mean, if chemo was a true cure than no one would die from cancer. And we all know people die, a lot of people, die from cancer every single day. And we have all probably known or heard of people dying despite having had chemo.

So, my trust has never been in the traditional western medicine. Or medicine in general. But especially in chemotherapy. That’s simply because of what is does to your body during treatment and after. Yes, it’s different for each person. But for me, let’s just say my bones and joints aren’t happy campers. My knees have been affected greatly. It hurts to walk up or down stairs. I mean HURT. And my hands and feet have been affected greatly as well, but mostly due to nerve damage.

Please don’t take this as me complaining though. I’m very grateful to be here. Despite all the pain I go through daily. I have met ovarian cancer sisters that ended up succumbing to the disease. So, I am happy to still be here.

Although if I’m being honest honest I wonder if those that passed away are in a much better place than here. For here is a world dealing with a pandemic that we have really never seen before. A pandemic that is not just in America. But one affecting the entire world. I’m referring to the coronavirus or AKA Covid19.

Now, to clarify I don’t mean to make any joke about people passing away from cancer. For no one should have to die from cancer. (Except for pedophiles and rapist and child molesters and murderers.) However, I do believe there is a better place waiting for us after this life is no more. That life being in heaven. A place where there is no more sorrow. A place where there is no more pain. A place where there is none of the. ad stuff we endure while being here on earth, while being alive. So, yes, I do believe those that have died are in a better place.

But that’s always been what I have believed. Long before this current world pandemic. And it will be what I believe long after it is gone. Which holy cow do I pray will be sooner rather than later.

For life right now is so very different. Life as we know it has changed in ways I don’t think anyone but those talented writers of fiction could have imagined. And maybe those in the science fields. They probably saw something like this one day happening.

But for every day folk well, I don’t we could have imagined this. For sure not me. To wake up to being told that we can’t go to the movies, to restaurants, to the bowling alleys, to the shopping malls, to hair dressers, to the bars and nightclubs, to the church or to the mosques or to the synagogues and even to the casinos. Wow! That we never saw coming. And even to travel to other cities let alone to other states and countries. Nope, did not see that coming. And really we are supposed to refrain from visiting loveds one too. But just between you and me…I have gone to visit my mom and step-dad. Not often. But I have broken the “rules” of social distancing. Don’t tell anyone.

But I’m happy to say we all remain covid19 free too. It is my prayer that will remain the case. As I hope all of y’all reading this and your loved ones will remain covid19 free as well.

I actually wanted to share with y’all that I may have had this virus back at the beginning of December. No, we can’t say for sure. But guys I had all the symptoms: coughing, chest congestion, fever. It was bad. And so bad I checked myself into the VA Dallas emergency room. It took maybe over two hours for me to be seen (which sadly is quite typical there) and the entire time I waited I wore a mask as to not cough on everyone. I coughed so much I think people worried about me. I kept a box of tissue with me and wondered if I was ever going to be seen. And wondered if by time I did get seen if what I had would turn into blown pneumonia. I remember shivering as I could not get warm. I felt horrible. And for someone who did actual have pneumonia some 20 years before I was sure I may have had it again.

When I finally got seen the doctors gave had me on a nebulizer and told me I had a fever. They had to give me the nebulizer twice. Because I was not even five months out from chemo they decided to keep me overnight. After two days in the hospital they concluded that I didn’t have the flu or pneumonia. They told me they “thought” I had a viral bronchitis infection. And back home I went. I rested for another day and then went back to driving as a ride share driver.

Again, we can’t say for sure if I had the covid19, but I feel like I did. And many other people feel the same. We had it but didn’t know. Thankfully we all got through it too.

It will be interesting to know, and one day we will know as more research is done, exactly when the virus hit America. And if many many people indeed had it before it became what it became. I.e. The 2020 world pandemic.

Until then I just look forward to when we get back to normal or even semi normal. Although as a cancer survivor who had to get used to a new normal I think that’s what will happen around the globe. We are in a new normal. And there will be a new normal after this is behind us too.

How are y’all doing in your new normal?

For me, I’m actually still working as a ride share driver. Yes, I know I’m one of those people who could get this virus due to having my medical history. But a gals got to work. And due to suffering with a not so great back and neck and knees that hurt all the time it’s hard to get a job right now. I’m still healing from treatment. I can’t work at the jobs that are hiring, such as Amazon and grocery stores. Being a ride share driver works for me, for now.

Please know I keep my vehicle clean, sanitized. And I keep myself clean too. I don’t go driving with personal protective equipment (PPE), but I do try to be smart–for my safety and the safety of my passengers. And all has gone well thus far. Glory to God.

I do miss things. Just like everyone else. Mostly I miss meeting up with my best friend and going to the movies. Aside from that my life hasn’t changed much. I stayed home before this happened. That said, I know it can be hard on people. On their psyche. And that is why I pray this ends soon. For everyone’s sanity.

I just want to end this blog by saying I hope you are ok. Remember you’re not alone. You can still get outside and take a walk, which I recommend. Get some vitamin D. Release them endorphins. And call or Skype or Zoom your family and/or friends. And if you feel depressed there are places you can reach out that can help. If you are affected by this financially, reach out to churches or other organizations that have food banks. Call your creditors and see if they can push back your payments. There is help out there.

I will try to do more blogging after this almost five month hiatus. But no promises because I can be too good at procrastinating. #smile

Oh and I will try to have some good news in the upcoming blogs. Which we could all use right about now.

Until then, take care. Stay safe and healthy. God bless.

P.S. the positive things to take from all of this: (feel free to comment with other positive things we can take from this)