I am ready! Ready for what? Well, thanks for asking. See, I have for good while have been wanting to not only continue blogging but also FINALLY get a website do I can FINALLY have a place to sell my book HOPE through cancer since the publisher of said book went belly up (that’s an idiom to describe a company going out of business or gone bankrupt — in this case, the publishing company just went out of business). It is because of that that my book is no longer on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. It sucks! But, it is what it is.
I’m fortunate that they were storing my (over 1, 000) printed books (yes, I was quite ambitious when I paid to have that many printed, and it was a first-time author error on my part) in a warehouse a few hours away as my stepdad and I drove there and got them all in one load. There was no point in having them in a warehouse — and paying for them to be in that warehouse — if they weren’t going anywhere due to the company no longer in business.
But despite having them in my possession and being able to sell them, I didn’t do much with them. I kept some in my car, and whenever I met someone I had an awesome conversation with, I would give them a free copy of my book. I love doing that still. However, if I had a business card and a website for them to go to, maybe just maybe they’d want to buy a copy for themselves or someone who going through a serious illness like cancer or some other disease or even just going through a difficult situation as I do believe HOPE through cancer is not just about faith and strength through cancer but through anything. I truly do.
I would think to myself and say I need to do this or that, yet I never would. I guess I can be a queen at procrastination. And granted, going through cancer twice in five years, losing my beautiful mom to covid, then losing my stepdad to a rare thyroid cancer (anaplastic thyroid cancer) didn’t have me motivated to do much outside of healing from six months of chemotherapy in 2021, and getting out there and driving (with Lyft and Uber) with meeting some amazing people along the way. I’m not making excuses per se. But I do believe all those things, and those weren’t all of the not so great things that have happened from 2019 to 2023, played a role in my pysche with not feeling so motivated.
Additionally, I have come to understand that I have not been 100% physically and psychologically. I have had times of sadness and anxiety. I know depression is real, and to be open and honest about it is good for us. I see that more and more. And I’m happy that my pride is no longer getting in the way of understanding that saying “It’s ok to not be ok” — as there have been days when I have not necessarily been ok.
Depression can hit us differently. I’m eternally an optimistic person. I believe I have a good positive outlook on life. I try anyway. Yet, after going through so much in such a short amount of time, it’s been hard on my heart, mind and body. So, I try not to be hard on myself. I try to remember that all will happen in good time.
And that time is NOW! I’m more ready than ever before, really. I now have a website where people can purchase my book (at a low cost of $10 + shipping 😉), and I’m hoping to launch it within a week. I have business cards coming in a week as well. And, and, and I’m planning on starting a podcast on ALL things TEAL, which means ALL things ovarian cancer awareness. This has me really excited, y’all. 🩵 Just as excited to have a website and be selling my books again.
I’m truly stoked for this new beginning or, rather, this newer beginning as life has many chapters in it and this is a new chapter of newer beginnings. Hallelujah! 🙌🏾
So, watch out for my next blog, where I’ll be posting more about the website and other things I have in the works. And watch out for a blog where I may get into some politicking… you have been warned. 🙃
Until next time. Be well. Stay well. God bless. 🌻
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