All my life, as far back as middle school I can remember anyway, I have been told that I am emotional, that I am very sensitive. I used to think of it as a bad thing. A weakness. My first love, back in 1991, told said to me “why are you so emotional?”, which is how he responded to me being upset that he failed to tell me that he got engaged to the mother of his child (something that he failed to tell me after we started dating…that being that he was about to be a new father) while acting like he wasn’t. Yes, I was emotional. Yes, it hurt. I was in love. This person was my first love and they were acting like it was no big deal. That are dating was not a big deal. That the intimate times we had were no big deal. How could anyone not be emotional about that. I remember telling him “I’d rather be so emotional than be void of emotional and cold and callus like I felt he was being. I asked him to leave and we didn’t talk for a few weeks after that. Our relationship continued as friends and after he got married we didn’t talk for a year. We did connect again, and even though it was when he (allegedly) was getting a divorce it didn’t last long. Let’s just say he ghosted me back before ghosting was even a thing.
But I got over that and him and life went on. As emotional as I can get I know how to get over things. I know how to move on. I know how to not let it keep me down. I am not ashamed of being emotional.
That doesn’t mean I didn’t go to God and ask God to help me control how emotional I was. I did. I asked to be stronger. I asked to be stronger but never to become unemotional. To be somewhere in the middle. And that helped with my job as a military police officer, as well all my other jobs in security and in corrections. I was able to do those jobs while keeping my emotions in check.
However, that doesn’t me being emotional went away. Nope. It was still there. When it came to lovers that would come and go and with family and/or close friends, being someone that was in touch with their emotions was still present. And I am ok with that.
I knew when to let my guard down and I knew when to have it high, so I could be successful in the jobs I have had through the years. I feel God heard my prayers and granted them. Some may argue that I just learned to train my brain to control my emotions, but I know what I know. I believe what I believe. And for me, it was answered prayers.
So, yeah I’m emotional. And that’s ok. No one will shame me or try to have me think being so is somehow a bad thing. Especially when we live in a world where it seems apathy rules. In a world where it seems selfishness and meism is what a lot of people are about. I’ll take being emotional and full of empathy every day and always.
Because, because today I really do believe we need more folks out there to know how to control their emotions whilst not being void of them. Which, in my opinion, seems to be what I see more of more and more of in this crazy thing called life.
So, yeah I’m emotional. What about you? What’s your take on it? Better to be cold and callus as to not get hurt. Or are you one that doesn’t deny their emotions…as long as they don’t control you? Do share…but please be mindful and civil as you do. 😉😊
#callus #apathy #meism #weak #civil #selfishness #strong #prayers #cold #love #shame #life #unashamed #God #embarrassed #emotional
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